Stupid Man Commercials

Candy Bar. Really?

2011-07-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

Not everyone enjoys eating "fiber", which is why there are countless products on the market that make it as easy as possible. Colorless powders, pills, and powerbars do their best to 'appeal' to the many of us that simply do not get enough fiber. I don't know how many grams of fiber are recommended a day,but I know for a fact I don't get enough. That said...I for SURE know the difference between a candy bar and 'fiber bar'. The stupid man featured in the commercial below apparently does not.

Stupid man...since when are "candy bars" made of granola or grains? I bet his wife has to add chocolate to his milk in order for him to drink it? Why-because all men are like little kids and, well, stupid.

#Winner

2011-04-19T19:05:00.001-07:00

Are we not over the whole Charlie Sheen #winning phenomenon yet, people? I mean, really. The following commercial is annoying for the following two reasons:

1. Charlie Sheen #winning (winner) reference
2. the guy featured in this commercial seems like a complete idiot

At a party (who brings Taco Bell to a party, by the way? Haven't you people heard of cheese, wine, potato salad?), one obnoxious man went crazy because he thought he "won" a taco. It's just a "cheesy double-decker taco"...but it's like you are actually getting "two tacos for the price of one". Um, really? I don't order a double cheesburger thinking it was buy one patty and get one free. Stupid man.

2011-04-04T18:17:00.000-07:00

Thank you Matthew, (one of the blog's followers), for submitting the link to this commercial.

First-can someone please confirm that this video was uploaded by a certified Windows staff/employee/agency? Here is the description for the video,
"Mom wants the perfect family portrait. But some kid (or husband) always messes it up. So... to the Cloud! Where Windows 7 and Windows Live lets her mix and match her family's best faces until she's able to piece together a photo she's proud to share."

Mom 'wants a perfect family portrait' implies that Dad doesn't give a damn. Why would he though, right? Isn't Dad just one of the kids? Does Dad actually care about how he looks? Dads are lazy and lack style, by definition.

There was nothing that stressed me out more than Picture Day at school. Weeeeeell, I guess the day I learned how to graph parabolas was pretty intimidating, too. What the heck is a parabola, anyway? When I was younger, my Mom would lay out what she thought I ought to wear for the big day. These looks obviously changed over the years. From knitted sweaters and stirrup pants to sundresses with jelly sandals-I always seemed to look horrible. I just did. I remember my second grade picture when my Dad did my hair. Anyone remember those hard plastic headbands? You know, the kind with the 'teeth' that would dig into your scalp? My dad showed me how to do my hair with one of those headbands. "Okay Rachel, push the headband back, then move it forward just a little to give yourself a bit of volume in the front". I hated him for it that day, but I am thankful for it now. Why? Because he cared. He cared how I looked, and he cared how others viewed me. He was NOT the kind of dad that sat on the couch, dumbfounded, like the dad in this commercial...hanging his head in shame.

My dad was not a hair stylist, but he was (is) a cool guy. He sported J.Crew and Structure (now known as Express for Men), when other dads were wearing tapered jeans and super white tennis shoes. I turned to him for fashion advice before I turned to my Mom (even though she's pretty cool, too) or even my friends. My dad was my stylist-for better or for worse. Despite his hard efforts, however, I was always first in line for "re-take" day. Even cool dads can't cure the awkward years of puberty, braces, glasses, and pimples. (sigh...)

I'd like to ask Windows why they were compelled to portray the mom as being computer/technology savvy and the dad as being an immature and indifferent moron. They could have easily made it a collaborative effort with both parents, right? "Honey, I love our family but let's try to create a picture we can send to Grandma this year". Windows decided to group the dad with the kids-one of the boys stuck an action figure in the other's ear,while the daughter was busy texting on her cell phone. Dad is portrayed as being part of the problem in the picture, while mom offers a solution. Copy/cut/paste the perfect family-way to go, mom!

"Windows gives me the family, nature never could", she comments. What does that family look like, Windows?

Stupid Lazy Dad

2011-03-29T20:15:00.000-07:00

Oldie but a goodie... As the kids are 'hanging out' in the living room (one is playing with cards, while the other is reading a magazine), their Father addresses them like board members. "well, kids...I signed us up for a better family plan that will save us money so Mom can quit her second job (as a taco mascot)". Wow-Father really knows best, eh? While he did make the decision to move into a better cellular family plan, he obviously does not understand the current plan (because he's an idiot-he's stupid). He probably doesn't even know how to text. Not only is he clueless, he is also lazy. While poor mom is out working her second job as a taco (wtf), dad is busy hanging out with the kids.

Even as a Taco, Mom is still the "responsible" one of the family. Notice how she picked up the mail on the counter, as dad made fun of her, "Hola"...? She picked up the mail because she pays the bills-literally. Dad has no idea where the money of the family goes, what kind of Verizon plan he has, or who his daughter is hanging out with on Saturday nights.

Stupid Dad.

Leggo My Stupid Dad

2011-03-07T17:21:00.000-08:00

Dad wakes up before the rest of his family to "make" breakfast, buuuuuuut he doesn't really make anything but a fool of himself. What he DOES do is golf in the kitchen with dishes on the floor, alley-oop ping pong balls into a vase, and just before his hungry family marches down the stairs, he throws some frozen waffles into the toaster.

Oh, but the family loves the Eggo waffles! The Mom, pleased, looks at Dad and asks if he made coffee...

Dad is lazy, unable to cook, and always looking for the easy way out. Frozen waffles.

Exactly-Stupid Men.

2010-09-29T06:43:00.000-07:00

Ugh...do I even need to explain this one? Stupid Dad and Stupid Uncle Joe are driving a ride-mower off of a makeshift ramp in the backyard? Why does the mom appear to be like 50 years old and Dad and Uncle Joe sound and look like college seniors? Why? Because all men are apparently immature and stupid.

Stupid Dad Commercial old post

2010-05-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

I stopped by my parents house to scrounge around for appliances I still needed, but can't yet bring myself to buy. For example, a coffee maker, power washer, and a leaf-blower (is that the proper name?). I sat down for a bit with my dad to watch 24, a shared favorite, and felt the comforts of "home" once again.

We channel surfed during commercials, only to catch commercials on other networks. Some of these commercials upset my dad. "Oh great", he said, "another commercial that makes Dad look dumb. Stupid Dad, can't you cook? Oh, there goes DAD again, taking the last piece of Little Caesar's Pizza. How greedy is HE!"

I almost always agree with my dad, but RARELY will I let him know this. I argue for the sake of arguing, especially with him. He has a tendency to "preach", like most of us Reeds. This quickly gets annoying. However, I immediately agreed with him on this one-WHY do commercials, regardless of the brand, always tend to make men looks like complete idiots? Even commercials that are directed towards men seem to put'em down. Does that actually sell products?

One of my favorite ones is for Yoplait Light Yogurt. You know, the "Boston Creme Pie, Apple Turnover diet". The woman is on the phone with a girlfriend talking about how she lost ALL this weight eating Strawberry Cheesecake and Key lime Pie. Meanwhile, you can see her boyfriend/husband frantically scanning the open fridge, pushing food aside and looking dumbfounded. Where is the Boston Creme Pie!!!!! Psh, STUPID man...your wife lost all her weight by eating Yoplait Light Yogurt-H-E-L-L-O!

I have a few issues with this. Forgive me if my philosophy of gender classes come out a bit. It bothers me that the man does not know what is/is not in the fridge. We can assume he is clueless because he never helps his wife/girlfriend shop. Shouldn't be know that there isn't any Apple Turnovers or Key lime Pie in the fridge? He probably spends all his time playing video games. Stupid man, I mean right? He didn't even realize his girlfriend lost weight..check out the end of the commercial. "Babe-what are you doing", she asks. Annoyed.

(I FOUND THE COMMERCIAL)

Another great one.

Yup. Of COURSE ALL women think they are fat. Of COURSE all men are sensitive to this issue. Please. 110 calories seems like the standard for 3/4 cup-1 cup of dry cereal. What upsets me is that the man is portrayed as being "stupid" about all of it. The woman sits there, chomping on her Multi-Grain Cheerios, as the man digs himself in a bigger and bigger hole. Until FINALLY, he says, "Shut up Steve". Ick, he even spoke in third person. I did not think this commercial was funny or cute. It's annoying.

Still waiting for Sonic to come to the Detroit area, but until then:

Thinking a shake is hot....stupid man.

It's great when adults play "clueless" with their kids. I did it all the time when I babysat this one family. The kids would hide when I came over and I would always say.."Hmmmm, where could Andrea be?". Is she under the table? Noooooooooo. Is she in the broom closet? Noooooooooo. Andrea?! Where are you?" I knew damn well she was always in the laundry room, hiding behind baskets of clothes. But you humor them. In the commercial below, stupid Dad is not "playing clueless". He IS clueless. Stupid Dad.

The next video I think I take the most offense to. Not only was my Dad a "Mr. Mom" (he cooked, cleaned, ironed my clothes, and even did my hair when I was really young). He was also the BEST night-before-the-project-was-due-come-to-your-rescue-kind-of-guy. I cannot tell you HOW many projects he helped me start and complete the night before. FAR from clueless.

Do I need to say more? I mean, right?

It's Not Delivery...It's Just A Supid Man

2010-04-26T19:07:00.001-07:00

You got to love when grown men act like little kids. Eating in front of the television, dragging mud into the house, lying to their mothers...oh wait, that's the guy's wife? Yup, Stupid Men are at it again. Sports-crazed, couch potato, pizza eating creatures of habit. Everything is going according to plan until the wife (who acts more like her husband's mother) busts them! "Larry! (sigh) We just had the carpets cleaned", cried the wife. "Baby, it was the pizza guy", replied the Stupid Man. Ah, but the Stupid Man was clever-trying to fool his wife into thinking the (DiGiorno Pizza) was delivery! "Bread sticks?", the wife asked.."I guess there was a pizza guy", she concluded.

The Stupid Man and his Stupid Man friends all chuckled. They fooled her! Oh wait, no. She found the box-it was DiGiorno! Stupid Man left it on the counter.

Take away from this commercial: Men love pizza. Men lie to their wives. Men are not detailed oriented. Men are stupid.

Stupid Dad Can't Wait For Dumbo!

2010-04-21T16:18:00.000-07:00

There is nothing that brings the family unit together like weddings, funerals, and family vacations. In this commercial, Stupid Dad cannot wait to experience the thrill of theme park rides (ironically enough, Flying Dumbo). He is so excited, that he cannot even wait for his wife to pull up the Mobile Magic app on Verizon. It's still unclear as to what the Mobile Magic app/service/page provides? Maybe it tracks Minnie Mouse or provides estimated wait time for lines at select attractions. Who the hell cares, Dad needs to be the FIRST on the rides! Why? Because Stupid Dad is selfish, immature, and impatient. Even his daughter asks, "Where's Dad going?"

Traditionally Dads are the ones that know best when it comes to matters of direction. I think back to the countless family trips my family took (before the days of GPS). My dad drove 90% of the way, especially through mountain chains, major cities, and at night. This was not an easy task-either my sister or I would be kicking his seat, my Mom would be bitching about how fast he was going, that he didn't use his turn signal, how close he was to the 18-wheeler next to us, and that it has been 53 minutes since we last stopped to use the bathroom. Dad always came through! That detour in downtown Atlanta off 75 South-no problem. Finding a fairly affordable hotel (that did not charge by the hour) in the hills of Virgina at 1am-he's on it! Dads just seem to have the natural ability to always know where to go. They can read maps easily, though rarely need to reference them, and always seem to take pride in saying, "We're almost there, kids!' He got us there-Dad.

I understand that gender roles within the "modern" family unit have shifted a bit. It's not uncommon to have a Dad that cooks dinner every night or does his own laundry. Mothers can kick a soccer ball outside with the kids and it doesn't seem weird. Did Verizon Wireless feel the need to deliberately showcase a Dad that has gone astray? The Mom, resourceful enough to use the Magic Mobile application, acts as the modern day Magellan. Clearly, Verizon portrayed the Dad as being childish, selfish, and independent. The kids are the ones that calmly stayed with Mom, as Dad ran off to ride Dumbo, alone. Stupid Dad, can't you wait for your family?

Thanks Verizon Wireless. Thanks for trying to "level the family vacation playing field" by making Mom the "smart, organized, and resourceful one". Thanks for showing a Dad that acts like he's 5 and the reaction of his family as they roll their disappointed eyes at him. (sigh) Oh, Dad.