Monday, April 26, 2010

It's Not Delivery...It's Just A Supid Man

You got to love when grown men act like little kids. Eating in front of the television, dragging mud into the house, lying to their mothers...oh wait, that's the guy's wife? Yup, Stupid Men are at it again. Sports-crazed, couch potato, pizza eating creatures of habit. Everything is going according to plan until the wife (who acts more like her husband's mother) busts them! "Larry! (sigh) We just had the carpets cleaned", cried the wife. "Baby, it was the pizza guy", replied the Stupid Man. Ah, but the Stupid Man was clever-trying to fool his wife into thinking the (DiGiorno Pizza) was delivery! "Bread sticks?", the wife asked.."I guess there was a pizza guy", she concluded.

The Stupid Man and his Stupid Man friends all chuckled. They fooled her! Oh wait, no. She found the box-it was DiGiorno! Stupid Man left it on the counter.

Take away from this commercial: Men love pizza. Men lie to their wives. Men are not detailed oriented. Men are stupid.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Stupid Dad Can't Wait For Dumbo!

There is nothing that brings the family unit together like weddings, funerals, and family vacations. In this commercial, Stupid Dad cannot wait to experience the thrill of theme park rides (ironically enough, Flying Dumbo). He is so excited, that he cannot even wait for his wife to pull up the Mobile Magic app on Verizon. It's still unclear as to what the Mobile Magic app/service/page provides? Maybe it tracks Minnie Mouse or provides estimated wait time for lines at select attractions. Who the hell cares, Dad needs to be the FIRST on the rides! Why? Because Stupid Dad is selfish, immature, and impatient. Even his daughter asks, "Where's Dad going?"

Traditionally Dads are the ones that know best when it comes to matters of direction. I think back to the countless family trips my family took (before the days of GPS). My dad drove 90% of the way, especially through mountain chains, major cities, and at night. This was not an easy task-either my sister or I would be kicking his seat, my Mom would be bitching about how fast he was going, that he didn't use his turn signal, how close he was to the 18-wheeler next to us, and that it has been 53 minutes since we last stopped to use the bathroom. Dad always came through! That detour in downtown Atlanta off 75 South-no problem. Finding a fairly affordable hotel (that did not charge by the hour) in the hills of Virgina at 1am-he's on it! Dads just seem to have the natural ability to always know where to go. They can read maps easily, though rarely need to reference them, and always seem to take pride in saying, "We're almost there, kids!' He got us there-Dad.

I understand that gender roles within the "modern" family unit have shifted a bit. It's not uncommon to have a Dad that cooks dinner every night or does his own laundry. Mothers can kick a soccer ball outside with the kids and it doesn't seem weird. Did Verizon Wireless feel the need to deliberately showcase a Dad that has gone astray? The Mom, resourceful enough to use the Magic Mobile application, acts as the modern day Magellan. Clearly, Verizon portrayed the Dad as being childish, selfish, and independent. The kids are the ones that calmly stayed with Mom, as Dad ran off to ride Dumbo, alone. Stupid Dad, can't you wait for your family?

Thanks Verizon Wireless. Thanks for trying to "level the family vacation playing field" by making Mom the "smart, organized, and resourceful one". Thanks for showing a Dad that acts like he's 5 and the reaction of his family as they roll their disappointed eyes at him. (sigh) Oh, Dad.