Monday, July 18, 2011

Candy Bar. Really?

Not everyone enjoys eating "fiber", which is why there are countless products on the market that make it as easy as possible. Colorless powders, pills, and powerbars do their best to 'appeal' to the many of us that simply do not get enough fiber. I don't know how many grams of fiber are recommended a day,but I know for a fact I don't get enough. That said...I for SURE know the difference between a candy bar and 'fiber bar'. The stupid man featured in the commercial below apparently does not.

Stupid man...since when are "candy bars" made of granola or grains? I bet his wife has to add chocolate to his milk in order for him to drink it? Why-because all men are like little kids and, well, stupid.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Are we not over the whole Charlie Sheen #winning phenomenon yet, people? I mean, really. The following commercial is annoying for the following two reasons:

1. Charlie Sheen #winning (winner) reference
2. the guy featured in this commercial seems like a complete idiot

At a party (who brings Taco Bell to a party, by the way? Haven't you people heard of cheese, wine, potato salad?), one obnoxious man went crazy because he thought he "won" a taco. It's just a "cheesy double-decker taco"...but it's like you are actually getting "two tacos for the price of one". Um, really? I don't order a double cheesburger thinking it was buy one patty and get one free. Stupid man.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Thank you Matthew, (one of the blog's followers), for submitting the link to this commercial.

First-can someone please confirm that this video was uploaded by a certified Windows staff/employee/agency? Here is the description for the video,
"Mom wants the perfect family portrait. But some kid (or husband) always messes it up. So... to the Cloud! Where Windows 7 and Windows Live lets her mix and match her family's best faces until she's able to piece together a photo she's proud to share."

Mom 'wants a perfect family portrait' implies that Dad doesn't give a damn. Why would he though, right? Isn't Dad just one of the kids? Does Dad actually care about how he looks? Dads are lazy and lack style, by definition.

There was nothing that stressed me out more than Picture Day at school. Weeeeeell, I guess the day I learned how to graph parabolas was pretty intimidating, too. What the heck is a parabola, anyway? When I was younger, my Mom would lay out what she thought I ought to wear for the big day. These looks obviously changed over the years. From knitted sweaters and stirrup pants to sundresses with jelly sandals-I always seemed to look horrible. I just did. I remember my second grade picture when my Dad did my hair. Anyone remember those hard plastic headbands? You know, the kind with the 'teeth' that would dig into your scalp? My dad showed me how to do my hair with one of those headbands. "Okay Rachel, push the headband back, then move it forward just a little to give yourself a bit of volume in the front". I hated him for it that day, but I am thankful for it now. Why? Because he cared. He cared how I looked, and he cared how others viewed me. He was NOT the kind of dad that sat on the couch, dumbfounded, like the dad in this commercial...hanging his head in shame.

My dad was not a hair stylist, but he was (is) a cool guy. He sported J.Crew and Structure (now known as Express for Men), when other dads were wearing tapered jeans and super white tennis shoes. I turned to him for fashion advice before I turned to my Mom (even though she's pretty cool, too) or even my friends. My dad was my stylist-for better or for worse. Despite his hard efforts, however, I was always first in line for "re-take" day. Even cool dads can't cure the awkward years of puberty, braces, glasses, and pimples. (sigh...)

I'd like to ask Windows why they were compelled to portray the mom as being computer/technology savvy and the dad as being an immature and indifferent moron. They could have easily made it a collaborative effort with both parents, right? "Honey, I love our family but let's try to create a picture we can send to Grandma this year". Windows decided to group the dad with the kids-one of the boys stuck an action figure in the other's ear,while the daughter was busy texting on her cell phone. Dad is portrayed as being part of the problem in the picture, while mom offers a solution. Copy/cut/paste the perfect family-way to go, mom!

"Windows gives me the family, nature never could", she comments. What does that family look like, Windows?

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Stupid Lazy Dad

Oldie but a goodie... As the kids are 'hanging out' in the living room (one is playing with cards, while the other is reading a magazine), their Father addresses them like board members. "well, kids...I signed us up for a better family plan that will save us money so Mom can quit her second job (as a taco mascot)". Wow-Father really knows best, eh? While he did make the decision to move into a better cellular family plan, he obviously does not understand the current plan (because he's an idiot-he's stupid). He probably doesn't even know how to text. Not only is he clueless, he is also lazy. While poor mom is out working her second job as a taco (wtf), dad is busy hanging out with the kids.

Even as a Taco, Mom is still the "responsible" one of the family. Notice how she picked up the mail on the counter, as dad made fun of her, "Hola"...? She picked up the mail because she pays the bills-literally. Dad has no idea where the money of the family goes, what kind of Verizon plan he has, or who his daughter is hanging out with on Saturday nights.

Stupid Dad.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Leggo My Stupid Dad

Dad wakes up before the rest of his family to "make" breakfast, buuuuuuut he doesn't really make anything but a fool of himself. What he DOES do is golf in the kitchen with dishes on the floor, alley-oop ping pong balls into a vase, and just before his hungry family marches down the stairs, he throws some frozen waffles into the toaster.

Oh, but the family loves the Eggo waffles! The Mom, pleased, looks at Dad and asks if he made coffee...

Dad is lazy, unable to cook, and always looking for the easy way out. Frozen waffles.